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Finding the courage to say NO!

Do you ever feel obliged to constantly say yes? 

Yes, to every situation you are put in, yes to dinner, yes to that extra work, yes to that extra early appointment. Saying yes, all the time can get physically and mentally draining and your body will take the brunt of it.

Feeling the need to say yes, all the time means we can set no boundaries, we feel stressed out, overwhelmed and eventually burnt out. Though this is of our own doing and we do have the power and opportunity to say no. 

It's okay to say, No. No, I can't go to dinner tonight because I’m tired and just want to go home to bed. No, I can't work that extra day as I’ve already worked a million hours this week and I just need some downtime. No, I can't make that early appointment as I would really appreciate the extra lie in. 

But why can't we just say how we feel at the time, instead of caving in and saying yes to everything that comes our way? 

Well, we all want to be liked, we all want to be loved and we all want to please other people. We crave attention, we want to be asked out and we don’t want to seem rude or make someone else feel rejected by saying no. In reality, we need to weigh up our life decisions and do what's best for you. 

So, here are a few tips on improving your NO

1. Next time you are invited to something that you feel you may not have the time for. Simply say “I’ll have a think about it”, go home, check your diary and see if it fits your schedule without adding any extra stress. If it’s a no, it’s a no. 

2. Surround yourself with people who understand. Your true friends will not get upset or angry at you for turning down a dinner date to catch up on some much-needed rest. 

3. Learn how to tolerate the reactions of others. Yes, people may get disappointed or annoyed at you for canceling some plans. But you know what, you can change your mind and have every right to do so. It’s your life you were put on this planet to please yourself first. 

4. Start to show yourself some compassion. If you are always feeling like you are saying yes to everyone else, why not try saying yes to yourself! Yes, I deserve this rest, yes, I deserve this lie in.

5. Set yourself some boundaries. Remember that when you say no to something you are ultimately making room for something else. Make time for your passions they will energise you more than you know. 

So next time you feel overwhelmed and stressed to make a decision, just say you’ll think about it and make your decision at a later date, stop feeling pressured. Start to make time for yourself, stand up for yourself and believe that what you are saying is right for you. Good friends will always stick by you and you never know; a better opportunity may arise.